JP
a blurred recollection of a dishonorable source
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my eyes get hazy,
my vision becomes
dry,
cracked,
brittle like an old worn piece of clay
the only shape i can make out is you
or is it?
i want to believe it
i want to believe you
most of the time i don't
but all of the time i need to
Send My Condolences to the Vibes
If it’s any consolation, I don’t love you
If it’s any consolation I don’t see burning embers and everlasting embraces when I hear
your name
If it’s any consolation, I’m sorry
Sorry for wanting the everything to go away and the nothing to last forever
Sorry for wanting too much
and nothing at all
Sorry for letting you take residency in my brain, like an unruly tenant with too many
complaints and no gall to leave
If it’s any consolation, I’m not sorry, for which I apologize
Greatly
happy days are here again
I’ve decided I’m sad today
Don’t text, don’t call
Hang your letters on my door
If it’s urgent, shred it
I’m sad today
Don’t tell me it’ll get better, don’t tell me it’s okay
Getting better is for the sick and the plays
I know it’s okay
I’m sad, not stupid
But being stupid makes being sad less sad
My compounded brain can’t comprehend
The severity of my sadness
Not that it’s severe
I’m sad, not dramatic
My sadness and I are tolerant roommates
Fighting for a lease in my brain’s crowded co-op
Sadness usually wins
I’m sad, not selfish
And I’m sad today
Not stupid
Not dramatic
Not selfish
Just sad
I’m sorry
I’ll try better next time
n̶o̶ Vacancy
How did we get here?
Is it pure attraction?
Pure animalistic desire for another body
Melded against ours for even the briefest moment in time
Or is it convenience?
Have the party-goers gone home to nurse their hangovers
Has the bartender called last call?
And am I the scraps?
The only scraps left to collect
Out of desperation
Not out of want
Not out of love
Was I your first choice?
And was there another just like me?
With higher morals and better options
I know I’m not ideal
I know I’m temporary
I know we’ll avoid eye contact tomorrow
But we’re here
Is this good for you?
Conversational Lulls with Endless Conversation
Do you see it, too?
The way the smile dims
The head bows
The eyes shine with the brightest darkness
It’s subtle
But nearly impossible to miss
It hangs around her
This tangible pain
This deafening sadness
It’s impossible to miss
But you missed it
No worries! She’s fine
Nothing to see here
Tuesday in the ‘Bury
Everywhere is the
Woman on the street
With the burning question and unlit cigarette
She cannot hurry to nowhere
Nowhere is the man on the bus
Not even noticing the stops
Making no move to exit, why should he?
He’ll take this forever
Visiting nothing and everything
Everything is the child in the park
Innocence only found in the discarded beer cans
On the slides
Watching their mothers watch them swing
Back and forth
Back and forth
Watching their mothers watch their lives go by
Making the most out of their nothing
Nothing is the poems we write
Documenting it all
Cramming lives in 100 words or less
They generalize people, crafting art out of assumptions
Who writes for them?
I sure don’t
sunday confessional
do you?
i'm sorry
i
didn't mean to interrupt
it's just these thoughts seep into my brain
like gasoline
on an already roaring fire of mania and anger and being so happy i could die
want to die
but what i meant to say
is that i love you
i
i'm sorry
do you?
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