Hopeless Carpentry

Episode 6

Carpentry is the study of carpets. How large they are, how they look, how they feel on your cold little toes. Carpets are a funny thing really, too small to be a rug, too pompous to be a hardwood floor. Almost as funny as the idea of a hopeless carpenter. Just a man, drifting through the world aimlessly with no sense of direction and a big ole saw. Do you think Joseph considered himself a hopeless carpenter? Spending his days making little huts or sick ass DJ booths or whatever he was making at the time and then spent his nights overcome by his own dread, having to come home to his child wife who he definitely thought cheated on him but now has to pretend didn’t cheat on me because a flying boy came to him in his dreams and told him so. His son would also be there, but that kid would probably just be in his room somewhere, practicing that shitty tight five he keeps doing for his twelve friends and listening to The Barenaked Ladies, probably. We’ll never know, though, which is unfortunate. God, we wish there was a big ancient book with fantastical fables and testimonials about God and his creation of the world. Damn, that book would be so cool. I guess that means the only book of scripture we can now look to for guidance is the new edition of HC Poetry, Hopeless Carpentry. We hope you enjoy and, if you don’t, then that’s fine, too. We are one to beg, but now’s not the time.